will.i.am

I've seen a number of will.i.am videos recently, thankfully none of which have been of his music, mostly just interviews, press conferences, tv appearances etc. All of which have lead me to the same question: What exactly is wrong with will.i.am?

Drugs? Anti-depressants? The pressures of fame? Could it be that he's just like that?

For the most part I can't even begin to understand what he's saying. Take this short clip for example:

The first 45 seconds or so seem reasonable enough; logos shouldn't be too big, logos should look nice, logos, your logo, put a logo on it, your logo should have it's own logo etc etc.

From there on things get a little bit weird. Apparently you have to think of what India is going to do to the world, and about how India is going to create this symbolic language. India is unique because they speak English but they have a different alphabet. Symbology and logos are going to play a big role in that. A new understanding of symbols will emerge.

It's hard to tell if he's talking complete shit about branding, or actually prophesizing some kind of seismic New World Order takeover type event.

Are you ready for the future of symbols?

Up next we have will.i.am at an Intel conference, baffling the shit out of everybody. He pretty much spends the best part of 6 minutes unpicking pubic hairs from a plughole in his brain and somehow still manages to get a fairly warm response. Watch the Intel lady putting on a smile and talking to him as if he is an actual human being from planet earth.

"Because you've never... y'know.. other than.. Mac... It's exciting the to come up with.. new... tools from the creators perspective, y'know... Wh-what would a device look like that's made to... make music, and share music, and have that connection one to many.. that hasn't been done from... y'know... the viewpoint, of the artist. And that's what's amazing this relationship is awesome to create products... or even attempt, this is, this is.. beyond... I love it."

y'know.

Yes, will.i.am, I do know. I know that you have no idea what you are talking about.

After causing the entire turnout of an Intel conference to forget what Intel actually is, and making us all at home question why we were put here on this earth and whether or not we will ever escape the multiverse, will.i.am turns his attention toward the world of Formula One racing.

He asks us to remember, or.. no, not even remember, imagine.. umm... Shoemaker, the... (shoe maker?)... car driver...  or or or... Lewis.... who drives for... Mercedes? Yes. When Lewis & Shoemaker drive around that track, they represent Mercedes. Well GUESS WHAT? will.i.am goes around a track too, it's called THE INTERNET. But people don't know he's driving an intel processor. That's the part most people don't know. We KNOW he's driving around a track called THE INTERNET, but we never realised that actually he was driving around it on an intel processor. Do you see now? Do you understand why he is here? If you can't understand this then I very much doubt you will be ready to join us in the Symbol World when the time comes. We are going to speak a new language, it will be English, but it will also be all Symbols. Symbology and logos and THE INTERNET are going to play a big role in that. A new understanding of symbols will emerge. Are you prepared? Are you ready? Are you ready to see how your brand changes into an ever-shifting inter-dimensional logo in the parralel world? Are you ready for SYMBOLS?

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will.i.am? will.are.U?

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will.i.am.the.truthspeakers day shall cometh
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the day of symbols is upon us

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