The Ally Way

A contemporary imagining of Hell:

You are held captive starved of food and water for days. Probably bum-raped too.

You are taken to a room where you are told that there will be refreshments and that things are going to change, you will be allowed to watch TV now. You won't be bum-raped anymore.

The tray of refreshments is brought in and the only food available is psilocybin mushrooms.

You eat the entire bowl out of sheer desperation and then realise the mistake you've made.

You realise you're dehydrated and that this is not going to make things any better, you ask for your drink. You are given only ice cold Red Bull energy drinks and piping hot coffees.

You tell yourself that at least coffee has water in and will give you energy. You burn your mouth trying to drink it and spend the next ten minutes drinking red bull to try to soothe the burns.

You start to feel the magic mushrooms kick in and realise that they're probably kicking in so early because you took them on an empty stomach. In a caffeine and hunger enduced delirium you eat the next bowl of mushrooms, in an effort to solve the empty stomach problem.

You feel the universe start to shake, everything around you is rippling and shifting at a dizzying speed. Everything is spinning and you are beyond control. You are bum-raped again.

You hear a loud clunking sound and suddenly all the walls light up, you realise that the walls, floor and ceiling are all giant TV screens.

The TV screens begin playing The Ally Way at deafening volume, over and over and over again.

You are too far gone to remember how to close your eyes, you run around the room, crazed, shitting mushrooms and red bull down yourself for the rest of eternity.
 

 

 

 

For the rest of eternity.